This information comes from a book I received at the Activities Directors conference in November. I found this book interesting and would like to share a portion of it with you.
One chapter I found particularly interesting was entitled “What Your Kids Always Wanted To Tell You, But Were Afraid To Say!”. Below is a brief summary of this chapter.
Three questions were asked to athletes concerning their opinion about the role of parents in their athletic experience. The first question was “What do your parents do in your athletic experience that embarrasses you?” Secondly, “What are the things you really appreciate your parents doing in your athletic experience?” Finally, “ If you knew I were talking with your parents tonight at Parents Night, what would you like me to tell them about your athletic experience?”
The following are the reponses:
THINGS PARENTS DO THAT EMBARRASS THEIR KIDS!
“Trying to teach me how to do something ‘correctly’ after a game.”
“Coaching during games even though you aren’t the coach.”
“Telling me what I was doing wrong after every game.”
“Being asked to leave a field by the official.”
“Going crazy at the refs- because it is not your job. It is the coach’s job to question bad
“Taunting other players, opponents, refs.”
“Yelling things at coaches and getting involved with something that was between the
coach and me. It was none of their business.”
“Coming to the game drunk or after drinking.”
“Acting disappointed with what I am doing instead of reassuring me I will do better
“Getting a technical foul against our team.”
“Don’t say, ‘(nickname), you really look cute in uniform, honey!”
THINGS PARENTS DO THAT THEIR KIDS REALLY APPRECIATE!
“Taking time out of your busy schedule to come to games and support what we do.”
“Bringing snacks after a game.”
“Supporting the whole team, not just me.”
“Cheering the team even when losing badly.”
“Telling us we did a good job.”
“Being proud of us even when we didn’t win.”
“Being quiet unless cheering with everyone else.”
“Never yelling at a coach or ref.”
“Making friends with other parents.”
“Telling a “negative” parent to be quiet.”
ADVICE FROM THE KIDS TO YOU, THE PARENTS!
“Don’t get frustrated if I am not playing well or the team is losing.”
“Don’t become too involved in our sports lives.”
“Stay in the stands and know your role.”
“Encourage regardless of performance.”
“We don’t want parents trying to get us playing time. It should be between the players
and the coach.”
“If I don’t play, don’t be angry with the coach or me.”
“Tell your kid not to steal.”
“Relax and let kids have fun.”
“Don’t make a scene.”
“Remember it is our team.”
“It is not a life or death situation; it is just a game.”
These are suggestions from kids to parents. They hold true in all schools and at levels of competition. We can all reflect on these comments from kids and use them to help our kids have a more enjoyable activities experience.